Wednesday, June 13, 2007
yay haha i'm finally blogging again.
just when you thought i'd stop blogging for good =)
anyway my hols have been CRAZY.
wth not even one day when i can be at home.
past 2 weeks i've been waking up at 7am
FOR CHEMFIRE.
and church.
and extra trng.
omgzzzz. but it's super good hahah my chem's much better
but that's only for redox and electrochem.
my holidays were supposed to be all abt training and mugging.
now it's more of training than mugging HAHA.
i just slack most of my time away in front of the com.
or i have other things to do.
like recce for amazing race track camp tmr
HAHA gonna be super fun pls!
but then again, i mugged today =)
went to coffee bean at guthrie house.
omgg saw so many ppl whom i know pls!
haha shant go there anymore.
but i need a place to mug! haha.
home isnt good coz i'll be distracted by the com.
sigh nats is coming
and i think i've lost the feel again!
dammit but my friend told me after the no-feel season it'll be better
hope this no-feel season ends soon HAHA.
i shall train SUPER HARD.
11th july!
super near super near!
EOIS ARE SUPER NEAR TOO.
omg.
i'm super dead hahaha was doing sec2 algebra today
i need to pull up my grades seriously.
shi__ey tan isnt gonna be happy that i didnt follow my study plan.
which was ridiculously packed!
HAHAHAHHA study plans always fail!
i cant wait for the end of sch hols
yet i dont want the hols to end
damn, i cant sleep at night
coz worry sets in when the day ends
and is revived with a new day
the wait is just killing me!
=(
once a day aint enough.
i wanna curse and swear
but i know it isnt good.
DARN, i'm so frustrated =((((
havent been that good. i dont know why but i like to blog when i'm feeling sad.
so if you're seeing an absense of posts, it's good HAHA.
all of a sudden happy songs dont seem to work no more. they're just a quick tune with no meaning whatsoever. sad songs are more meaningful. szeyen lent me J.T's album. and his lyrics make a lot of sense. especially losing my way. no wonder she's so in love with him haha.
valentine's day's like round the corner. havent finished making the presents yet. i think this week's gonna be super hectic. tmr math pt's gonna be given out, and proposal is due end of this week, which is friday. then yuwen and i have to present chinese newspaper, one whole weeks' worth of chinese newspapers which i havent started reading on thurs. and i have to finish making vday presents by wed. and i have dental appointment on tues. what the shit i'm stressed but i'm not doing anything. each day i just stress myself out with worries but i dont really do much to relieve my workload. and trainings havent been good, for me at least. so i really dont know what's going on in my life. it's like a total mess. and i cant seem to bring myself up. like everything's just going downdowndown. burnout man. and i've been sleeping late so everyday i cant do much hmwk coz i'll fall asleep at my table. and i cant keep up man i got 14 for physics diagnostic. and my chinese is really dying. chemistry i'm like quite okay but i'm gonna die for QA spa. and it doesnt help when you feel yourself sinking further and further into depression. and it really sucks. it's like. one moment you're laughing and joking and the next moment, you're hearing laughters around you while you sink into your own dark world where everything sucks shit. and tears just come down, you cant stop it.
no wonder mel thinks i'll commit suicide if i work in a bank HAHA.
yes you cant blame the Lord for putting all these obstacles in your life. but sometimes it's just so hard to accept all these and still believe that all this are His doings and it'll ultimately lead you to a better place. honestly, it's hard to believe that when you're super down and feel like giving up entirely. but girl, dont give up. we've been through that phase, and i suppose this is the first major one in your life. you just have to grit your teeth and push your way through all the shame and disappointment. noone does well all the time. so all we can do is just pray hard, and most importantly, you not to give up on yourself. loves <3
i'm just so scared of talking to you
knowing you'll just put on a front
but all the time i keep guessing how you're feeling
how you actually are
but i never can think aloud,
can i?
but call myself honest?
sigh i dont know whats wrong with me
ever since that incident happened
i never seemed to have recovered,
and it seems like i'll never be able to.
but i want to. really badly.
just throw it all away in the past
and not get these waves of regret and guilt
while knowing that you're happy and dont give a damn.
yesterday was clique christmas party/gathering. haha but i had ccao set up in sch before that so i went after that and caught the holiday! wah i tell you i walked so briskly from sch foyer to the busstop that my shins were aching like mad! omgosh and YES i caught the bus HAHAHAH. and YES AGAIN i was just in time for the exchange of buses at dhoby! yeah so met them at marina. then we exchanged presents at the lounge there HAHAHAH we were all so delighted can! i got a diary from szeyen and misuzu OMGOSH IT'S THE VERY ONE I WANTED FROM BORDERS! HAHAHAH thank you so much much much! and i got a voodoo doll keychain and cradle mountain picture catalogue/dunno what from waiky, and a jar of dumbass things from cheryl HAHAHAH super cute, a cute eraser from misuzu, and a church signs calendar from charlene. =) i was so touched xD and the cards were really sweet too..... while reading them on the bus home i was gonna tear la you guys are just so sweet. and even though we've drifted apart for some parts of the year, in the end we're still together, and we know it =)
each year we await christmas so eagerly coz that's the time when alll of us can come together and exchange heartfelt gifts and write each other letters about what we've always wanted to say. and just hang out and talk about rubbish and laugh our asses off and sleep together HAHAHAHA. it's reallyreally wonderful. i hope that we'll still contact each other even when we're grown up, i really wish for that. cliched, but true. i wonder why people turn down cliches. sometimes they just express what we really feel, and i'm lazy to think of nice expressions HAHA. and almost everything is a cliche. even this lol. but whattheheck. =)
haha it was so fun! we watched The Holiday, and omgosh Cameron Diaz is just so cute hahah and JUDE LAW is so sexy/hot! haha it was a really sweet show about love. and it's a really cool movie. =)) then we had newyorknewyork for dinner, and omgosh the BBQ ribs are SUPERB! hahah and somemore there's free cotton candy! hahah so cool right. yeah after that we went to waiky's house and watched cry wolf, which we rented before going there. HAHA it's a thriller and it was good la. totally unexpected. and luckily it isn't the horror ghostly types it's just all fakes. but i liked the twist and turns. like just when they thought they found out who The Wolf was, it turns out to be someone else, and the game that they play is just so complex, you never know who's lying and if you're being manipulated. reallyreally nice =)
yeah so after that 5 of us squeezed onto waiky's queen sized bed HAHAHAH super funny we were all sleeping horizontally with our legs dangling out by the side and it was really cramped and funny HAHAHAH and i kept waking up coz it was too cold. yeah so me char waiky woke up at 6.50 to get ready to go to sch for CCAO setup, while yen and cheryl went back to sleep. and when we were ready and about to leave, they were too lazy to wake up HAHAH and it was really funny to see them with their messy hair and with their voices breaking and whining that they dont wanna get up. haha so we left them in waiky's house to sleep in lol!
had such great fun with you guys. =) let's form a study group/tuition group next year! yay then we can have more fun! HAHA.
love, josey =)
aiya wth nvm i shall just use my turbo typing and try to remember all that i typed =(((((
okay firstly MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE! hahahah have fun today! and i'm really sorry for the lack of posts for like one month plus hehe.
yay ok today i went for christmas service in church. haha it was really good. the worship was good the crowd was good the atmosphere was good everything BAGUS la! hahah darn i'm learning from my taiwan tour guide and soon i'll say special as spacial HEHE.
ok yesterday i went for morning service in the... morning duh. hahah but i went for 10.30 shineforth service as i overslept! was too drained after the taiwan trip so i really overslept. so i went alone lol. but going alone wasn't as bad as i though hahaha. and deanne was sitting behind me so we talked abit. and i fell asleep like 3 times during the sermon coz it was really getting too draggy and i was still super sleepy.
ok so after that i went home and came out again to go to mel's house. haha we played DDR. and i really suck at it but it's okay I'M IMPROVING i got my first 100 combo yeesterday! HEHEH. but melissa's friend is really good her first time playing and she has already gotten so many highscores! and unlocked a few songs. haha darn pro right! then we had dinner. mel's parents ordered turkey from goodwood and it was really nice. haha and her mum made potato salad and vege and fruits salad and garlic bread and some peaches in orange juice dessert. and her parents invited mel's grandma over for dinner and melissa's two friends. hahah they were all really high on wine i tell you! HAHAH and mel's mum is super cute la. everytime they started talking about korean actors her mum will get super excited and her whole face will light up and she'll squeal HAHAHHAHAHAHA. now i know why mel's so cheeko. lol.
then after that mel and i went to yuwen's house to exchange presents! hahah the gate was wideee open so we sneaked in hoping to give yuwen a surprise but two of her cousins ran out and when they saw us they started whispering i bet they thought that we were burglars la coz there were 9 cars there! lol so we hurry ran to yuwen's room HAHAHA. and i swear yuwen's becoming so motherly hahah she carries her little cousin whereever she goes! HAHAH. yay so we went downstairs to collect our christmas presents under the big christmas tree! HAHAHAH it's liek gigantic compared to mel's one la. HAHAH when i went to mel's house she told me to put the presents under the christmas tree and it's like really short but it's a live tree HAHHAHA and all the presents aren't UNDER it they're BESIDE it HAHAHHAAH. ok so mel and i decided to be polite and went to greet yuwen's parents. lol but her dad was talking to his business friends so we went to the kitchen where her mother and relatives were. so we went in and said hi auntie merry chrristmas! LOL then suddenly the whole kitchen went from super noisy to silent. and all the relatives were staring at us HAHAHAH coz we just suddenly appeared out of nowhere lol. so mel and i felt super awkward and tried to say hello merry christmas but it turned out as OH HAHAHHAHA HELLO MERRY HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA and in the end we didn't say the word christmas HAHHAHA coz it was super weird and funny we couldn't help laughing LOL super amusing! and as mel said afterwards in the car, luckily we didn't go over to say hi to yuwen's dad if not his business friends would be super shocked at the kind of company his daughter mixes around with LOL not that it's a bad thing la i'm sure they would love us =)) HEHE so we went to open the presents! yuwen got me a shirt and a strawberry shortcake cotton bud set. haha and she got mel another shirt and the strawberry shortcake cotton bud set. and mel got me a soft toy cum pillow cow and she got yuwen a pingu water dispenser. and i got yuwen a paper people notebook and mel a strawberry shortcake calendar. hehe THANK YOU!
ok so we went back and played more DDR and soon it was time to go for midnight mass at mel's church. haha and i didnt know anything about what the pastor was saying! hahah so i fell asleep manymany times coz it was super late! but it was quite cool as they actually had a manger and mary and joseph and baby Jesus inside! haha. and mel told me on Good Friday they also have a cave where Jesus was resurrected after 3 days. how cool is that!
haha so after that we went home and played more DDR and i was the first one to fall asleep! i really couldn't help it i was too tired! and idiot mel kept scratching me =(( haha ok so when we finally went to mel's room it was 3+ and IDIOT MEL had to take HALF AND HOUR to put all her stuffed toys which cannot fit onto the bed on the floor nicely and all the pillows had to be in position on the bed and the blanket had to be arranged nicely. OMGOSH i tell you i nearly died waiting. and just when mel FINALLY got everything arranged melissa barged in with her friend and messed everythign up! OMGOSH i was really dying already and so we had to pack the bed and everything again and by the time we could sleep it was like 4+! that's why i was super tired today during service. hahah.
ok before that i went to taiwan. haha it was really fun! but i'm too sian to do a day-by-day analysis so i shall just roughly sum it up! ok i made new friends on the tour group there. haha teri tami alicia eugene celeste chuanzhi chuanyue. haha it was really fun we first started talking on the day when we went to the amusement park because noone in our families wanted to take with us so we just got together and went together hahah we rode the roller coater twice and the UFO free fall thing once hahah super scary i tell you when it drops down it's without warning coz i dunno why there wasn't a countdown. and suddenly it's just WHOOOSH like your seat's gone and i was trying to scream but couldn't coz my voice just got stuck HAHAHAHHA. and the roller coasterr was darn fun coz we went like up down underneath upside down really cool HEHEH. so from then we started playing cards at night coz it was too boring in the hotel lol. we only played daidee and bridge hahaha eugene's really good at bridge he wins most of the time! hahah and many funny things happened when we were playing but i'm too lazy to spell it all out. hahah but tami's super cute i tell you! she's only 7, and she crushes chuanyue who's 16! and on the last night when we were all playing in her room she sat beside him and was darn happy to beat him HAHHAHA coz we used the ai4 xin1 bian1 as the forfeit! AHAHHAH so we were all teasing her about it! and when she fell asleep her nose was blocked so it was darn noisy and we were all laughing but she didnt wake up so cute! HAHHHA. i'm starting to sound as cheeko as mel =(
yay ok i've finally reached the place where my post was gone!
on the food in taiwan was good la. but rather oily and lots of fried stuff. but i'm surprised taht i haven't gained weight! haha maybe coz it was cold so i used up all that i consumed! yay hahahah. and we spend alot of money there la dunno buy what royal jelly which was 375 bucks and green tea which was 200 bucks OMGOSH what a waste of money right =( but luckily we didnt buy like the jade figurines and the dunno what jade jewellery. haha.
yay okay 2007's gonna start soon! better draft out my resolutions and START STUDYING MATH AND CHEM AND DOING RS! omgosh HAHHAHAHA shit i'm so dead i've been procrastinating for so long but i haven't done anything! but luckily i've read a few books lol. sigh i really need tuition for chem and physics! but more for chem la. haha.
okay i'm really tired now my wrists are pain =(( haha better get down to doing ccao stuff lots of things to settle! =) goodbye people you'd better treasure this post as goodness knows when i'll be posting again HAHAHHAHA. byeee!
haha ok my results arent good but it's okay i did better than i expected so it's okay =) i shall mug soon! haha. it's been a really frantic and busy year i honestly dont know what happened along the way but i promise to do better next year =)
had lead camp last week. haha it was seriously fun! the activities were quite fun, but my group was what made the whole thing fun! haha. i had chewmin, vivian siah, wanxiu, yiyun, sihui, vienna, desiree, sherlyn and hazel in my group. and not to mention my facils were jeanting and AJ! haha seriously wacky group! hahah it was fun but tiring, not to mention the noisy planes flying past. we counted like 50+ in a day!? and they all fly so low the taller trees are bald at the top. haha. so the two nights were rather sleepless. but i'm really glad to have gotten to know these people better. haha.
last sat was class party! haha but had training before that. killer weights la so i went there super tired and muscles aching like mad. but it was still fun haha and we went to chompchomp for dinner. bus was super cold and we were a little wet. so i think i caught a cold and sunday morning i woke up with a fever and a flu. and superduper bad muscle aches omgosh it's seriously the worst i've ever had my shoulder/neck muscles were super pain i couldnt lift my arms i couldn't even tie my hair i couldn't wear my clothes without wincing in pain haha it was super bad =( and monday i had fever too. but tues we had track chalet no fever but still abit flu-ish so i brought alot of tissue haha it was very fun too but i didnt have enough sleep first night i slept at 3+ and woke up at 7 second night slept at 2+ woke up at 8 hahaha.
it was super fun! first night we had bbq omgosh it was so tiring i was bbqing satay the whole time la! haha then went to bathe at like 12+ or 1+ i cant rmb then we were discussing the treasure hunt until 3+ then before we slept HAHA we heard the sec2s gossiping so much HAHHAHAHAH we were laughing so hard please HHAHAHAH. then next day we went to have treasure hunt. everything was going so smoothly. so we decided to go to the breakwaters at the beach which is the last station to wait for all the teams to finish their hunt. so we left one by one so as not to let them know where the last station is. i went first. haha it was so nice sitting there and hearing the waves and looking at the vastness of the sea. then wanyi came. we were admiring the contrast between the trees and dark clouds at a distance. then husena came. and we talked about the dark clouds even more and said how beautiful they were. THEN THE WIND CAME! omgosh HAHAHAH superrr strong la then the dark clouds started coming. and we were still admiring. until we felt the first drops. and because the middle of the black clouds were near the chalet and we were quite far from it, so we didnt really get the full blast of the showers yet. and we decided to run back to the chalet coz there was no shelter at the beach at all. so we started running. and because the rain was SOSUPER STRONG we decided to hide our phones behind our backs coz the rain was blowing towards us. and we were approaching the middle of the clouds and we ran into the rain. yes we actually ran INTO the rain you could really feel the difference la haha and we had to run so super far hahhaha it was really tiring and we couldnt see anything coz the rain was so heavy and the wind was so strong we nearly missed the gate into the chalet! and when we got there we were totally drenched but our backs were dry -.-" that's how strong the wind was! but it was quite fun la hahahah. then after that we played pass the parcel, and when the rain stopped we went back to the beach to hunt for the balls that we hid. HAHA we hid 10 balls and we only found 5? HAHAH shit they're non-biodegradeable i feel so bad =( so we went back to the chalet. then later me wanyi chew went to play pool! haha it was so freezing in there and each game was 2 bucks what a complete ripoff so each time we shot we hurry ran to grab the balls before they went into the holes HHAHAHA so cheater right! but wth we didnt wanna spend that much money. haha and later we played mahjong all the way until like 12+ and i was really so sleepy i fell asleep while waiting for my turn to bathe but they wanted to watch shall we dance but we ended up playing truth haha it was quite interesting =) at least it kept me awake. but after a while i fell asleep after we stopped playing. so we went upstairs to sleep and i slept so well haha the alarm went off at 7 but we slept until 8! nobody bothered to wake up. then we packed up and checked out =)
so i reached home and bathed and ate and fell asleep. haha then i went jogging. yay the route is so nice to jog and the black parade is so nice i kept playing the album when i jogged and it was soso shuang hahahah.
yeah and i had training today. i left my house on time. but there was a jam coz of some accident so i was late! =X shit la. haha weights again. it's quite okay quite fun but i died doing chest presses =((( haha and we jogged on the treadmill for cool down =) yay then i met cheryl the dumbbum at j8 and we had lunch and walked around for a while then she came to my house! haha so fun we just snacked and talked and played wakuwaku fishing game! we played twice and she won me both times 26-24 and 27-23! =( the next time i must win her! haha then we went to play badminton it was so funny HAHAHHA especially when i made this shot and she said BANG THE NET! and i thought she said bangdaneh or smth like that and i turned around expecting to find an indian or bangladeshi HAHAHHAHAHAH i'm not being racist but i really thought she said that AHHAHAHAHAH. and the lift lights werent working so we were really scared. haha. then we went to step on the stone path SO SUPER PAIN and the indian lady there was laughing at us haha coz she said it wasnt pain and she showed us hahah her feet are so strong! then later i sent her to busstop and came home and here i am! =)
tomorrow going to watch step up with weiying! haha crazy girl it's her second time hahah but i cant wait! hehe channing tatum is so cute! xDD byee!
how great is that haha.
new skin! coz the old one was too happy haha.
chocolates are just heavenly! =)
haha ok eoys are over, results are out, i didnt do well, but i exceeded my expectations after taking the test haha. i seriously thought i'd fail but in the end i only failed chem YAY. but though i passed, my results were still super bad. but it's alright! =)
yay ok today was games day. dont know why we still have sch when the o level higher chinese is going on. and the netball courts/field/tennis courts are so darn near to the hall and the pe teachers were using the loud hailers please!? so super noisy even when we were in the library we could hear all the noise la pls. ok so after the games me mel yuwen went out for lunch. we went to scotts, then went to far east to buy bubble tea, then walked around far east for a bit. then we crossed the overhead bridge to go to the busstop.
HAHAH and you know what. while walking past the Hertz rent-a-car thing this worker was dunno doing what to his truck. then the cart he was holding on to started rolling down the road coz it was a downhill. HAHAHAH so super funny i tell you. me mel yuwen were walking, then we saw the cart moving. so we started giggling. then the man began to run after the cart. we laughed even harder. THEN he tried to grab the handle but missed. HAHHAHA omgosh that was killer i tell you! haha.
ok so we went back to sch to do the dunno what survey. i did till 28% and then the page had an error so i refreshed. and voila! i had to redo! =((( my eyes were super pain after staring at 100 pages of the super bright apple monitors. yepp so after that i went for track meeting. then after that went to find the cheering group. HAHAH and i became part of it. omgosh it's super funny HAHAHAH especially the dunno what fighting crime and joining forces thing HAHAHAHHA. okay nvm.
so after that i walked mel home since i had nothing better to do. then her mum called while we were walking halfway and said her sis wanted the bandito set! omgosh we we had to walk to far east. haha we were super sweaty and tired from the climbing of steps so many times to the 4th floor so we sat down. then stupid mel pushed the drinks towards my edge of the table. i really thought it was going to drop so i shrieked hahah then this group of dunno what SHHHH! me =( haha so we went out. then saw _______. fill in the blanks! HAHAHA and dunno why we started shrieking the whole journey to her house HAHAHHA about stupid stuff.
OHOH i forgot. HAHA while we were walking, then i pushed mel coz that's what she always does to me! HAHAH and she was on the edge of this jutting out tile. and she FLAILED her arms around HAHAHAH SUPER FUNNY I TELL YOU! HAHAHHAAH. finally caught her off balance! YAY! strike one! HAHA.
ok yeah so i took 171 home. then when i reached home, i decided i should go jogging since it was such a fine day! yay so i jogged the diary farm route omgosh so tiring so many uphills! but i didnt stop YAYYYY and the whole thing took me 45 mins YAYYYYY i know it's noob but it's my first time jogging for so long! but i dont know how much the distance was BUT I DONT CARE! :D i was so happy while jogging coz i was listening to all my favourite songs! so jogging past the front of diary farm there was this group of workers cutting down the tree branches so i didnt know where to jog but luckily this guy saw me and he told the rest to stop! yay then he gave me the thumbs up HAHAHHA. so i smiled! haha and said thankyou la duh. then at the side of diary farm this angmoh lady was returning from grocery shopping she looked so nice! so i smiled too. hahah yay! then she smiled tooo! HAHAHAH omgosh it's bad to smile at strangers but i couldnt help it i was really feeling happy! haha.
jogging past bukit panjang pri sch made me think of many things. like how the sch has changed. after dunno how many coats of paint. then while peeping in the pe teachers were also different! but otherwise, everything was more or less the same. haha sometimes i miss the carefree pri sch life. but it's alright! =)
yay and i just watched so you think you can dance. omgosh i think i'm gonna crush ivan! HAHAH he's so cute! HEHEHE. shiiit next week i cannot watch! darn nvm i shall get someone to tape for me the preview looked interesting and HOT! haha.
okay tomorrow's netball carn! hope our class gets into top 8! yay we will =))) haha ok i'd better go get the cheer from marjorie HAHAH i cannot remember anything now!
and i've made a pact with myself. to go jogging every evening! if i'm home before 5.30. =) yay ok byebye!
just when you thought i'd stop blogging for good =)
anyway my hols have been CRAZY.
wth not even one day when i can be at home.
past 2 weeks i've been waking up at 7am
FOR CHEMFIRE.
and church.
and extra trng.
omgzzzz. but it's super good hahah my chem's much better
but that's only for redox and electrochem.
my holidays were supposed to be all abt training and mugging.
now it's more of training than mugging HAHA.
i just slack most of my time away in front of the com.
or i have other things to do.
like recce for amazing race track camp tmr
HAHA gonna be super fun pls!
but then again, i mugged today =)
went to coffee bean at guthrie house.
omgg saw so many ppl whom i know pls!
haha shant go there anymore.
but i need a place to mug! haha.
home isnt good coz i'll be distracted by the com.
sigh nats is coming
and i think i've lost the feel again!
dammit but my friend told me after the no-feel season it'll be better
hope this no-feel season ends soon HAHA.
i shall train SUPER HARD.
11th july!
super near super near!
EOIS ARE SUPER NEAR TOO.
omg.
i'm super dead hahaha was doing sec2 algebra today
i need to pull up my grades seriously.
shi__ey tan isnt gonna be happy that i didnt follow my study plan.
which was ridiculously packed!
HAHAHAHHA study plans always fail!
i cant wait for the end of sch hols
yet i dont want the hols to end
damn, i cant sleep at night
coz worry sets in when the day ends
and is revived with a new day
the wait is just killing me!
=(
once a day aint enough.
i wanna curse and swear
but i know it isnt good.
DARN, i'm so frustrated =((((
7:12 AM
Sunday, February 11, 2007
hello people. i'm finally blogging. again. haha.havent been that good. i dont know why but i like to blog when i'm feeling sad.
so if you're seeing an absense of posts, it's good HAHA.
all of a sudden happy songs dont seem to work no more. they're just a quick tune with no meaning whatsoever. sad songs are more meaningful. szeyen lent me J.T's album. and his lyrics make a lot of sense. especially losing my way. no wonder she's so in love with him haha.
valentine's day's like round the corner. havent finished making the presents yet. i think this week's gonna be super hectic. tmr math pt's gonna be given out, and proposal is due end of this week, which is friday. then yuwen and i have to present chinese newspaper, one whole weeks' worth of chinese newspapers which i havent started reading on thurs. and i have to finish making vday presents by wed. and i have dental appointment on tues. what the shit i'm stressed but i'm not doing anything. each day i just stress myself out with worries but i dont really do much to relieve my workload. and trainings havent been good, for me at least. so i really dont know what's going on in my life. it's like a total mess. and i cant seem to bring myself up. like everything's just going downdowndown. burnout man. and i've been sleeping late so everyday i cant do much hmwk coz i'll fall asleep at my table. and i cant keep up man i got 14 for physics diagnostic. and my chinese is really dying. chemistry i'm like quite okay but i'm gonna die for QA spa. and it doesnt help when you feel yourself sinking further and further into depression. and it really sucks. it's like. one moment you're laughing and joking and the next moment, you're hearing laughters around you while you sink into your own dark world where everything sucks shit. and tears just come down, you cant stop it.
no wonder mel thinks i'll commit suicide if i work in a bank HAHA.
yes you cant blame the Lord for putting all these obstacles in your life. but sometimes it's just so hard to accept all these and still believe that all this are His doings and it'll ultimately lead you to a better place. honestly, it's hard to believe that when you're super down and feel like giving up entirely. but girl, dont give up. we've been through that phase, and i suppose this is the first major one in your life. you just have to grit your teeth and push your way through all the shame and disappointment. noone does well all the time. so all we can do is just pray hard, and most importantly, you not to give up on yourself. loves <3
i'm just so scared of talking to you
knowing you'll just put on a front
but all the time i keep guessing how you're feeling
how you actually are
but i never can think aloud,
can i?
5:33 AM
Saturday, January 20, 2007
why do i deceive,but call myself honest?
sigh i dont know whats wrong with me
ever since that incident happened
i never seemed to have recovered,
and it seems like i'll never be able to.
but i want to. really badly.
just throw it all away in the past
and not get these waves of regret and guilt
while knowing that you're happy and dont give a damn.
6:40 AM
Thursday, December 28, 2006
YEAAAH i'm blogging HAHA. miraculously.yesterday was clique christmas party/gathering. haha but i had ccao set up in sch before that so i went after that and caught the holiday! wah i tell you i walked so briskly from sch foyer to the busstop that my shins were aching like mad! omgosh and YES i caught the bus HAHAHAH. and YES AGAIN i was just in time for the exchange of buses at dhoby! yeah so met them at marina. then we exchanged presents at the lounge there HAHAHAH we were all so delighted can! i got a diary from szeyen and misuzu OMGOSH IT'S THE VERY ONE I WANTED FROM BORDERS! HAHAHAH thank you so much much much! and i got a voodoo doll keychain and cradle mountain picture catalogue/dunno what from waiky, and a jar of dumbass things from cheryl HAHAHAH super cute, a cute eraser from misuzu, and a church signs calendar from charlene. =) i was so touched xD and the cards were really sweet too..... while reading them on the bus home i was gonna tear la you guys are just so sweet. and even though we've drifted apart for some parts of the year, in the end we're still together, and we know it =)
each year we await christmas so eagerly coz that's the time when alll of us can come together and exchange heartfelt gifts and write each other letters about what we've always wanted to say. and just hang out and talk about rubbish and laugh our asses off and sleep together HAHAHAHA. it's reallyreally wonderful. i hope that we'll still contact each other even when we're grown up, i really wish for that. cliched, but true. i wonder why people turn down cliches. sometimes they just express what we really feel, and i'm lazy to think of nice expressions HAHA. and almost everything is a cliche. even this lol. but whattheheck. =)
haha it was so fun! we watched The Holiday, and omgosh Cameron Diaz is just so cute hahah and JUDE LAW is so sexy/hot! haha it was a really sweet show about love. and it's a really cool movie. =)) then we had newyorknewyork for dinner, and omgosh the BBQ ribs are SUPERB! hahah and somemore there's free cotton candy! hahah so cool right. yeah after that we went to waiky's house and watched cry wolf, which we rented before going there. HAHA it's a thriller and it was good la. totally unexpected. and luckily it isn't the horror ghostly types it's just all fakes. but i liked the twist and turns. like just when they thought they found out who The Wolf was, it turns out to be someone else, and the game that they play is just so complex, you never know who's lying and if you're being manipulated. reallyreally nice =)
yeah so after that 5 of us squeezed onto waiky's queen sized bed HAHAHAH super funny we were all sleeping horizontally with our legs dangling out by the side and it was really cramped and funny HAHAHAH and i kept waking up coz it was too cold. yeah so me char waiky woke up at 6.50 to get ready to go to sch for CCAO setup, while yen and cheryl went back to sleep. and when we were ready and about to leave, they were too lazy to wake up HAHAH and it was really funny to see them with their messy hair and with their voices breaking and whining that they dont wanna get up. haha so we left them in waiky's house to sleep in lol!
had such great fun with you guys. =) let's form a study group/tuition group next year! yay then we can have more fun! HAHA.
love, josey =)
5:55 AM
Monday, December 25, 2006
OMG MY SUPER LONG POST JUST DISAPPEARED. OMGOMG I'M SO SUPER PISSED NOW =(aiya wth nvm i shall just use my turbo typing and try to remember all that i typed =(((((
okay firstly MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE! hahahah have fun today! and i'm really sorry for the lack of posts for like one month plus hehe.
yay ok today i went for christmas service in church. haha it was really good. the worship was good the crowd was good the atmosphere was good everything BAGUS la! hahah darn i'm learning from my taiwan tour guide and soon i'll say special as spacial HEHE.
ok yesterday i went for morning service in the... morning duh. hahah but i went for 10.30 shineforth service as i overslept! was too drained after the taiwan trip so i really overslept. so i went alone lol. but going alone wasn't as bad as i though hahaha. and deanne was sitting behind me so we talked abit. and i fell asleep like 3 times during the sermon coz it was really getting too draggy and i was still super sleepy.
ok so after that i went home and came out again to go to mel's house. haha we played DDR. and i really suck at it but it's okay I'M IMPROVING i got my first 100 combo yeesterday! HEHEH. but melissa's friend is really good her first time playing and she has already gotten so many highscores! and unlocked a few songs. haha darn pro right! then we had dinner. mel's parents ordered turkey from goodwood and it was really nice. haha and her mum made potato salad and vege and fruits salad and garlic bread and some peaches in orange juice dessert. and her parents invited mel's grandma over for dinner and melissa's two friends. hahah they were all really high on wine i tell you! HAHAH and mel's mum is super cute la. everytime they started talking about korean actors her mum will get super excited and her whole face will light up and she'll squeal HAHAHHAHAHAHA. now i know why mel's so cheeko. lol.
then after that mel and i went to yuwen's house to exchange presents! hahah the gate was wideee open so we sneaked in hoping to give yuwen a surprise but two of her cousins ran out and when they saw us they started whispering i bet they thought that we were burglars la coz there were 9 cars there! lol so we hurry ran to yuwen's room HAHAHA. and i swear yuwen's becoming so motherly hahah she carries her little cousin whereever she goes! HAHAH. yay so we went downstairs to collect our christmas presents under the big christmas tree! HAHAHAH it's liek gigantic compared to mel's one la. HAHAH when i went to mel's house she told me to put the presents under the christmas tree and it's like really short but it's a live tree HAHHAHA and all the presents aren't UNDER it they're BESIDE it HAHAHHAAH. ok so mel and i decided to be polite and went to greet yuwen's parents. lol but her dad was talking to his business friends so we went to the kitchen where her mother and relatives were. so we went in and said hi auntie merry chrristmas! LOL then suddenly the whole kitchen went from super noisy to silent. and all the relatives were staring at us HAHAHAH coz we just suddenly appeared out of nowhere lol. so mel and i felt super awkward and tried to say hello merry christmas but it turned out as OH HAHAHHAHA HELLO MERRY HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA and in the end we didn't say the word christmas HAHHAHA coz it was super weird and funny we couldn't help laughing LOL super amusing! and as mel said afterwards in the car, luckily we didn't go over to say hi to yuwen's dad if not his business friends would be super shocked at the kind of company his daughter mixes around with LOL not that it's a bad thing la i'm sure they would love us =)) HEHE so we went to open the presents! yuwen got me a shirt and a strawberry shortcake cotton bud set. haha and she got mel another shirt and the strawberry shortcake cotton bud set. and mel got me a soft toy cum pillow cow and she got yuwen a pingu water dispenser. and i got yuwen a paper people notebook and mel a strawberry shortcake calendar. hehe THANK YOU!
ok so we went back and played more DDR and soon it was time to go for midnight mass at mel's church. haha and i didnt know anything about what the pastor was saying! hahah so i fell asleep manymany times coz it was super late! but it was quite cool as they actually had a manger and mary and joseph and baby Jesus inside! haha. and mel told me on Good Friday they also have a cave where Jesus was resurrected after 3 days. how cool is that!
haha so after that we went home and played more DDR and i was the first one to fall asleep! i really couldn't help it i was too tired! and idiot mel kept scratching me =(( haha ok so when we finally went to mel's room it was 3+ and IDIOT MEL had to take HALF AND HOUR to put all her stuffed toys which cannot fit onto the bed on the floor nicely and all the pillows had to be in position on the bed and the blanket had to be arranged nicely. OMGOSH i tell you i nearly died waiting. and just when mel FINALLY got everything arranged melissa barged in with her friend and messed everythign up! OMGOSH i was really dying already and so we had to pack the bed and everything again and by the time we could sleep it was like 4+! that's why i was super tired today during service. hahah.
ok before that i went to taiwan. haha it was really fun! but i'm too sian to do a day-by-day analysis so i shall just roughly sum it up! ok i made new friends on the tour group there. haha teri tami alicia eugene celeste chuanzhi chuanyue. haha it was really fun we first started talking on the day when we went to the amusement park because noone in our families wanted to take with us so we just got together and went together hahah we rode the roller coater twice and the UFO free fall thing once hahah super scary i tell you when it drops down it's without warning coz i dunno why there wasn't a countdown. and suddenly it's just WHOOOSH like your seat's gone and i was trying to scream but couldn't coz my voice just got stuck HAHAHAHHA. and the roller coasterr was darn fun coz we went like up down underneath upside down really cool HEHEH. so from then we started playing cards at night coz it was too boring in the hotel lol. we only played daidee and bridge hahaha eugene's really good at bridge he wins most of the time! hahah and many funny things happened when we were playing but i'm too lazy to spell it all out. hahah but tami's super cute i tell you! she's only 7, and she crushes chuanyue who's 16! and on the last night when we were all playing in her room she sat beside him and was darn happy to beat him HAHHAHA coz we used the ai4 xin1 bian1 as the forfeit! AHAHHAH so we were all teasing her about it! and when she fell asleep her nose was blocked so it was darn noisy and we were all laughing but she didnt wake up so cute! HAHHHA. i'm starting to sound as cheeko as mel =(
yay ok i've finally reached the place where my post was gone!
on the food in taiwan was good la. but rather oily and lots of fried stuff. but i'm surprised taht i haven't gained weight! haha maybe coz it was cold so i used up all that i consumed! yay hahahah. and we spend alot of money there la dunno buy what royal jelly which was 375 bucks and green tea which was 200 bucks OMGOSH what a waste of money right =( but luckily we didnt buy like the jade figurines and the dunno what jade jewellery. haha.
yay okay 2007's gonna start soon! better draft out my resolutions and START STUDYING MATH AND CHEM AND DOING RS! omgosh HAHHAHAHA shit i'm so dead i've been procrastinating for so long but i haven't done anything! but luckily i've read a few books lol. sigh i really need tuition for chem and physics! but more for chem la. haha.
okay i'm really tired now my wrists are pain =(( haha better get down to doing ccao stuff lots of things to settle! =) goodbye people you'd better treasure this post as goodness knows when i'll be posting again HAHAHHAHA. byeee!
1:19 AM
Friday, November 17, 2006
hello yes i'm FINALLY blogging! haha.haha ok my results arent good but it's okay i did better than i expected so it's okay =) i shall mug soon! haha. it's been a really frantic and busy year i honestly dont know what happened along the way but i promise to do better next year =)
had lead camp last week. haha it was seriously fun! the activities were quite fun, but my group was what made the whole thing fun! haha. i had chewmin, vivian siah, wanxiu, yiyun, sihui, vienna, desiree, sherlyn and hazel in my group. and not to mention my facils were jeanting and AJ! haha seriously wacky group! hahah it was fun but tiring, not to mention the noisy planes flying past. we counted like 50+ in a day!? and they all fly so low the taller trees are bald at the top. haha. so the two nights were rather sleepless. but i'm really glad to have gotten to know these people better. haha.
last sat was class party! haha but had training before that. killer weights la so i went there super tired and muscles aching like mad. but it was still fun haha and we went to chompchomp for dinner. bus was super cold and we were a little wet. so i think i caught a cold and sunday morning i woke up with a fever and a flu. and superduper bad muscle aches omgosh it's seriously the worst i've ever had my shoulder/neck muscles were super pain i couldnt lift my arms i couldn't even tie my hair i couldn't wear my clothes without wincing in pain haha it was super bad =( and monday i had fever too. but tues we had track chalet no fever but still abit flu-ish so i brought alot of tissue haha it was very fun too but i didnt have enough sleep first night i slept at 3+ and woke up at 7 second night slept at 2+ woke up at 8 hahaha.
it was super fun! first night we had bbq omgosh it was so tiring i was bbqing satay the whole time la! haha then went to bathe at like 12+ or 1+ i cant rmb then we were discussing the treasure hunt until 3+ then before we slept HAHA we heard the sec2s gossiping so much HAHHAHAHAH we were laughing so hard please HHAHAHAH. then next day we went to have treasure hunt. everything was going so smoothly. so we decided to go to the breakwaters at the beach which is the last station to wait for all the teams to finish their hunt. so we left one by one so as not to let them know where the last station is. i went first. haha it was so nice sitting there and hearing the waves and looking at the vastness of the sea. then wanyi came. we were admiring the contrast between the trees and dark clouds at a distance. then husena came. and we talked about the dark clouds even more and said how beautiful they were. THEN THE WIND CAME! omgosh HAHAHAH superrr strong la then the dark clouds started coming. and we were still admiring. until we felt the first drops. and because the middle of the black clouds were near the chalet and we were quite far from it, so we didnt really get the full blast of the showers yet. and we decided to run back to the chalet coz there was no shelter at the beach at all. so we started running. and because the rain was SOSUPER STRONG we decided to hide our phones behind our backs coz the rain was blowing towards us. and we were approaching the middle of the clouds and we ran into the rain. yes we actually ran INTO the rain you could really feel the difference la haha and we had to run so super far hahhaha it was really tiring and we couldnt see anything coz the rain was so heavy and the wind was so strong we nearly missed the gate into the chalet! and when we got there we were totally drenched but our backs were dry -.-" that's how strong the wind was! but it was quite fun la hahahah. then after that we played pass the parcel, and when the rain stopped we went back to the beach to hunt for the balls that we hid. HAHA we hid 10 balls and we only found 5? HAHAH shit they're non-biodegradeable i feel so bad =( so we went back to the chalet. then later me wanyi chew went to play pool! haha it was so freezing in there and each game was 2 bucks what a complete ripoff so each time we shot we hurry ran to grab the balls before they went into the holes HHAHAHA so cheater right! but wth we didnt wanna spend that much money. haha and later we played mahjong all the way until like 12+ and i was really so sleepy i fell asleep while waiting for my turn to bathe but they wanted to watch shall we dance but we ended up playing truth haha it was quite interesting =) at least it kept me awake. but after a while i fell asleep after we stopped playing. so we went upstairs to sleep and i slept so well haha the alarm went off at 7 but we slept until 8! nobody bothered to wake up. then we packed up and checked out =)
so i reached home and bathed and ate and fell asleep. haha then i went jogging. yay the route is so nice to jog and the black parade is so nice i kept playing the album when i jogged and it was soso shuang hahahah.
yeah and i had training today. i left my house on time. but there was a jam coz of some accident so i was late! =X shit la. haha weights again. it's quite okay quite fun but i died doing chest presses =((( haha and we jogged on the treadmill for cool down =) yay then i met cheryl the dumbbum at j8 and we had lunch and walked around for a while then she came to my house! haha so fun we just snacked and talked and played wakuwaku fishing game! we played twice and she won me both times 26-24 and 27-23! =( the next time i must win her! haha then we went to play badminton it was so funny HAHAHHA especially when i made this shot and she said BANG THE NET! and i thought she said bangdaneh or smth like that and i turned around expecting to find an indian or bangladeshi HAHAHHAHAHAH i'm not being racist but i really thought she said that AHHAHAHAHAH. and the lift lights werent working so we were really scared. haha. then we went to step on the stone path SO SUPER PAIN and the indian lady there was laughing at us haha coz she said it wasnt pain and she showed us hahah her feet are so strong! then later i sent her to busstop and came home and here i am! =)
tomorrow going to watch step up with weiying! haha crazy girl it's her second time hahah but i cant wait! hehe channing tatum is so cute! xDD byee!
5:13 AM
Monday, October 30, 2006
YAY YES I'M BLOGGING! =)))))))how great is that haha.
new skin! coz the old one was too happy haha.
chocolates are just heavenly! =)
haha ok eoys are over, results are out, i didnt do well, but i exceeded my expectations after taking the test haha. i seriously thought i'd fail but in the end i only failed chem YAY. but though i passed, my results were still super bad. but it's alright! =)
yay ok today was games day. dont know why we still have sch when the o level higher chinese is going on. and the netball courts/field/tennis courts are so darn near to the hall and the pe teachers were using the loud hailers please!? so super noisy even when we were in the library we could hear all the noise la pls. ok so after the games me mel yuwen went out for lunch. we went to scotts, then went to far east to buy bubble tea, then walked around far east for a bit. then we crossed the overhead bridge to go to the busstop.
HAHAH and you know what. while walking past the Hertz rent-a-car thing this worker was dunno doing what to his truck. then the cart he was holding on to started rolling down the road coz it was a downhill. HAHAHAH so super funny i tell you. me mel yuwen were walking, then we saw the cart moving. so we started giggling. then the man began to run after the cart. we laughed even harder. THEN he tried to grab the handle but missed. HAHHAHA omgosh that was killer i tell you! haha.
ok so we went back to sch to do the dunno what survey. i did till 28% and then the page had an error so i refreshed. and voila! i had to redo! =((( my eyes were super pain after staring at 100 pages of the super bright apple monitors. yepp so after that i went for track meeting. then after that went to find the cheering group. HAHAH and i became part of it. omgosh it's super funny HAHAHAH especially the dunno what fighting crime and joining forces thing HAHAHAHHA. okay nvm.
so after that i walked mel home since i had nothing better to do. then her mum called while we were walking halfway and said her sis wanted the bandito set! omgosh we we had to walk to far east. haha we were super sweaty and tired from the climbing of steps so many times to the 4th floor so we sat down. then stupid mel pushed the drinks towards my edge of the table. i really thought it was going to drop so i shrieked hahah then this group of dunno what SHHHH! me =( haha so we went out. then saw _______. fill in the blanks! HAHAHA and dunno why we started shrieking the whole journey to her house HAHAHHA about stupid stuff.
OHOH i forgot. HAHA while we were walking, then i pushed mel coz that's what she always does to me! HAHAH and she was on the edge of this jutting out tile. and she FLAILED her arms around HAHAHAH SUPER FUNNY I TELL YOU! HAHAHHAAH. finally caught her off balance! YAY! strike one! HAHA.
ok yeah so i took 171 home. then when i reached home, i decided i should go jogging since it was such a fine day! yay so i jogged the diary farm route omgosh so tiring so many uphills! but i didnt stop YAYYYY and the whole thing took me 45 mins YAYYYYY i know it's noob but it's my first time jogging for so long! but i dont know how much the distance was BUT I DONT CARE! :D i was so happy while jogging coz i was listening to all my favourite songs! so jogging past the front of diary farm there was this group of workers cutting down the tree branches so i didnt know where to jog but luckily this guy saw me and he told the rest to stop! yay then he gave me the thumbs up HAHAHHA. so i smiled! haha and said thankyou la duh. then at the side of diary farm this angmoh lady was returning from grocery shopping she looked so nice! so i smiled too. hahah yay! then she smiled tooo! HAHAHAH omgosh it's bad to smile at strangers but i couldnt help it i was really feeling happy! haha.
jogging past bukit panjang pri sch made me think of many things. like how the sch has changed. after dunno how many coats of paint. then while peeping in the pe teachers were also different! but otherwise, everything was more or less the same. haha sometimes i miss the carefree pri sch life. but it's alright! =)
yay and i just watched so you think you can dance. omgosh i think i'm gonna crush ivan! HAHAH he's so cute! HEHEHE. shiiit next week i cannot watch! darn nvm i shall get someone to tape for me the preview looked interesting and HOT! haha.
okay tomorrow's netball carn! hope our class gets into top 8! yay we will =))) haha ok i'd better go get the cheer from marjorie HAHAH i cannot remember anything now!
and i've made a pact with myself. to go jogging every evening! if i'm home before 5.30. =) yay ok byebye!
5:20 AM
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